"Church Lady" - Amy Lawrence
Church Lady
A Study on Our Influence as Women
I’m going to give you a scenario. This is entirely hypothetical, but the more you read the more you’ll see that it is also entirely possible.
The auditorium of a local building where the church meets is filled with those of us that are there every Sunday morning for worship service. As we all settle down into our understood “assigned” seats, we notice that someone we don’t know is sitting in Jane and John Doe’s seat. It’s not so much that we notice that someone different is sitting on that pew, but what is nearly impossible to ignore are the number of tattoos and piercings on the woman now occupying the space and the dark and ominous theme of her clothing. She has never been here before. There are a few minutes left before the service begins, but no one introduces themselves - and the looks on our faces tell her we aren’t going to do so. We instead stare. In our minds, we wonder how someone has the audacity to look like that, especially here. In this study, we are going to learn how we as the women of the family of God (and any Christian, really) should conduct ourselves in the house of God.
Human brains have a terrible habit of assuming. It is one of many mechanisms that can be explained scientifically as having a purpose, but all in all, it is my opinion that it causes more trouble than it prevents. We think we know this woman. We judge according to appearance. Our minds quickly forget that Jesus warned us about this (Jn. 7:24). Instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt and try and find out more about her, we put her at arm’s length. What we don’t know is that this woman is at rock bottom and is sitting, waiting for someone to throw her a life-line. Not one single Christian in the building understands that the church is not a gathering of perfect people; we are not the sinless trying to correct the sinful. We are just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. She’s here, she’s hungry, and to treat her as if she doesn’t belong is to overlook that at one point, we were just as spiritually starving as she in our journey. No one noticed how long she sat in her dilapidated Honda and argued with herself whether to go inside or go home. Her terror is justified when she notices that there is a ten-foot halo of empty space surrounding where she is sitting. Service starts. She has no idea what to do because she has never set foot in an environment like this before. All she knows is that her parole officer advised her to seek God and start here. Everyone reaches for a song book. She mimics. They all seem to know exactly what page to turn to, but she thumbs through absently, not knowing…until a little girl, sitting on the same pew, sees. She scoots toward the stranger and helps her find the page. The woman leans and whispers, “Thank you, precious.” The beaming smile the little girl gives her calms her a bit. At this point, we should all be ashamed because a child just educated us. Let’s consider some personality traits we as Christians should have that allow us to see souls the way God sees them. A Christian should be:
#1.) Compassionate.
Let’s approach this from a standpoint to which everyone can relate. Let’s think of the fiercest, scariest wild animal we can. Imagine this animal is caught in a trap and we can see that it is injured, bleeding, struggling, and terrified. No matter the personality of the animal or the danger, we would have compassion and try to free the animal. Why can’t we see each other with the same loving attitude? Sin is a prison! If we can free another soul from that prison, why wouldn’t we at least try?! We are also commanded to imitate Christ, 1 Cor. 11:1. The compassion of Christ is unsurpassed. It is planted in love, Jn. 3:16. We can plant our compassion for one another in love as well, 1 Thess. 4:9, 1 John 4:7.
#2.) Courageous.
We all have the innate desire to remain in our cozy comfort zones. It takes bravery to step out, especially to do so for someone else. Can a person that looks and acts outside of what we consider normal make us uncomfortable? Absolutely. Does this allow us to treat them as if they do not matter? No. God is not partial. Neither should we be, James 2:1-9. Cowardice comes with consequences, Rev. 21:8. We as Christians are not given a spirit of fear, 2 Tim. 1:7.
#3.) Communicative.
Women are stereotyped as excessive talkers. However true this may be, the talking is more often than not the negative type. Gossip is predominantly a female activity. We (and yes, I have been guilty of the crime) tend to take the “easy” route and talk about someone instead of TO someone concerning things many see as sensitive subjects. We also seek accomplices. Mutual dislike for the person or situation encourages us to continue in the bad behavior. Compassion and courage should make us seek the edifying route instead. Talk to them. Don’t tear them down. Build them up. If there is an uncomfortable subject that has to be discussed, do so with grace and salt, Col. 4:6.
Make your words as palatable as possible…because you never know when you may have to swallow them. It is possible to say a hard thing in a kind way.
#4.) Child-like.
In the above scenario, how did a child see what we did not?
Jesus spoke the words, ““Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” (Lk. 18:16-17) Infants are naturally guileless. They have an innocence that comes from inexperience. The environment in which they eventually gain experience is paramount to the adult they will one day become. Our own adult maturity often blinds us to that valuable innocence. Paul wrote, “Brethren, do not be children in understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature.” (1 Cor. 14:20) Experience should cultivate wisdom, but part of that wisdom is holding on to that child-like innocence in situations of conflict or discomfort.
We are entrusted by God with the task of caring for another soul when we are given the opportunity to share the wonderful blessings that are found only in Christ. We are ambassadors for Christ, and when we represent Him in a way that is unChristlike, we throw a stumbling block in the path of a potential Christian. Adding to this scenario, this woman later becomes a Christian and a teacher. Several young people, youth that are involved in the same lifestyle she used to be, hear her story and turn to God. Every moment counts. Every gesture, every word, every attitude matters. We have the ability to make becoming a Christian an easy decision by how we treat anyone that wants to know what we’re all about. We are all. About. Christ. Jn. 13:35.
Now let’s get a picture in mind of what a “Church Lady” should look like.
She will:
-See God’s people as He sees them: sons and daughters
-Be a doer of the word and not a hearer only
-Refuse to judge according to appearance and do her best to love people
-Be a fountain of mercy and grace
-Be an epistle of love, humility, kindness, gentleness, and compassion
-Point others to HIM
-Reach to the back row and encourage the hearts of those that can’t get past the grief and sorrow of their mistakes
-Look for opportunities to be a blessing
She is fully aware of her own shortcomings and seeks forgiveness and guidance daily. She recognizes struggle in others and speaks hope. She does not gossip, brag, or boast. She utters blessing. Gratitude is her adornment. She is a woman of her word. She is a worshipper, in spirit and in truth. She prays. She is trustworthy. She is known for what she stands for, and what she won’t stand for. She understands that in order to be the woman of Proverbs 31, she has to know and practice chapters 1-30. She is a lifter. An encourager. A listener. She forgives, completely. She shares the same grace she is given every day. She invests in the greatest investment in the world; God’s people.
Are you a church lady?