The Company You Keep - Amy Lawrence

The Company You Keep

A Study on Fellowship of the Saints

In psychology, it is known as the Chameleon Effect; the human tendency to mimic those around us spontaneously. I wanted to be part of the group, the “cool” kids’ circle. To be regarded as worth knowing like they were was, to me, worth sacrificing the pieces of myself that were keeping me out of that social circle. Margaret Mitchell once wrote, “It’s hard to salvage jettisoned cargo and, if it is retrieved, it’s usually irreparably damaged. And I fear that when you can afford to fish up the honor and virtue and kindness you’ve thrown overboard, you’ll find they have suffered a sea change and not, I fear, into something rich and strange. ” There are some pieces of ourselves that should be discarded, but I have found that when trying to fit in, I am usually discarding the pieces I need to hang on to in order to be successfully good in the future and hanging on to the pieces that keep me from that future. I turned into this person that fits in, but at what price?

We are social creatures. God created us as such. We seek connection, no matter who we are. I’d like to say there are set rules to how we seek out others, but as it goes, both sameness and opposite attracts. We change in accordance with our social circle because once we find our circle, we make every attempt to become and remain a part of it. Not all change is bad. Changes that we make to our personality and behavior that are in a progressive direction to being a better person are good. Some circles promote this good. Consider the church. One of the vital attributes of the church is the good it cultivates in us, the love that we have for the attitude and behavior that is taught in God’s word - a connection we have together as God’s people. We all conform to the same source of righteousness, the only source that is righteousness: the Word of God, Rom. 1:16-17. That’s unity. Anyone wishing to be a part of the church of Christ will do the things that bring them into the family of Christ. Nothing can be more worth time and effort than this because we will not find a better group of people to which we can belong. This power of unity between God’s people is shown throughout scripture. Solomon wrote, “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecc. 4:12) Paul wrote, “Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.” (Phil. 2:2) The church is a united group of people that build each other up, support one another, bear one another’s burdens, keep each other on the straight and narrow. We do this by conforming ourselves to God’s word, Rom. 12:1-2.

Not all changes we make to fit in are good, though. We know the old adage “Be careful of the company you keep.” When I was in high school, I spent a great deal of quality time with other teenagers that encouraged bad behavior. Instead of being the example of good behavior among them, I became as they were - to my deep regret. There were many things I refused to do, but there were also many things I participated in that made me just as guilty. James wrote, “Whoever keeps the whole law, and yet stumbles in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10) We have this habit of thinking we aren’t as bad as others because we don’t do all the bad things they do. We forget that we are all sinners, Rom. 3:23. The problem, though, isn’t just in the actions themselves. An action starts as a thought, Gen. 6:5. I came to realize their way of thinking became my way of thinking and I was undoubtedly one of them. I had allowed myself to become a person Satan was proud to see. When we allow Satan to win our mind, we become a tool in his hands, Lk. 22:31-32; 54-62 (Peter), Lk. 22:1-6, Jn. 13:2 (Judas), 2 Tim. 2:22-26 (Christians). It’s much easier to convince ourselves to choose the Devil when everyone around us is choosing him. Yes, Jesus sat with sinners. He didn’t sin with sinners. And the thing is, we’re not Jesus, Heb. 4:14-15. Does that mean we cannot spend time with anyone outside of the church? No, but we’ve got to be smart about it. If you’ll notice, Jesus and His apostles sat with the tax collectors and sinners, Mt. 9:10, Mk. 2:15. A group of good Christians fighting the Devil is less susceptible than a lone Christian. We are still required to try and reach the lost, Mk. 2:17, Mt. 28:19-20, and we cannot do that unless we go to the lost.

There will be situations, however, when we will find ourselves a lonely sheep among wolves. We will feel pressure to fit in, just for the sake of not being the only one in the crowd not following the crowd. God promises He will never leave us nor forsake us, Heb. 13:5, and so we are never really alone. Consider the position David was in when he faced Goliath. David was a boy having to lift his chin to look into the eyes of this giant he was about to kill, by himself. But was David by himself ? Remember the words of David when you face the Devil, 1 Sam. 17:45-47.

Grouping together as Christians is the better option, for many reasons. The Hebrew writer tells us that fellowship with the saints stirs up love and good works, Heb. 10:24-25. There is also strength in numbers, Ecc. 4:9-12. We’re less likely to be devoured as a group, 1 Pet. 5:8. But what if a congregation of God’s people is just as corrupt as the fellowship the world offers? Jesus addressed this problem with the Pharisees, Jn.

12:42-43, and Paul with the Corinthians, 1 Cor. 11:17-19. Five of the seven churches of Asia received rebuke and warning from Christ, Rev. 2-3. All of the above had to be told where the problem was; each problem was rooted in a stepping away from God’s word. Some made the necessary changes. Some did not. Doing things our way instead of God’s way breeds all sorts of issues, and it certainly doesn’t stir up love and good works. Instead, it stirs up strife, envy, hatred, dishonesty, covetousness, and such like, Gal. 5:13-26. Just as poison is to the human body, so is selfishness to the body of Christ. The antidote? “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” Read Philippians 2. We must think selflessly, just as Christ did. If you’re going to be part of a group of people, let it be those that build one another up - not tear one another down. Congregations that look to the Word of God can return to being a congregation of brethren and not one of enemies. There is a love that should exist between fellow Christians that begins and ends with God, Phil. 2:1-4. When we have a love for one another that is God-approved, a selfless love, the church can work as God intended.

Those of us that are Christians sometimes forget that the outside world doesn’t know what we know about the church. The church is home. (Many times in scripture, the church actually met in someone’s house, Acts 16:40, Rom. 16:3-5.) It is a place we can go to be with like- minded people that say and do things that do not make us feel we have to always be on our guard against sin. We, as a family, meet several times a week, primarily on the first day of the week, Acts 20:7. Our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ are like no other. We all have the same love for God, His law, and each other, Jn. 13:35. This is one of many reasons why we share the good news about the church. It’s because you will not find a circle like this anywhere else. We take care of each other, Phil. 2:4, Gal. 6:9-10. We keep each other in check, Gal. 6:1, James

5:19-20. We understand that there is an order to things, and when it’s God’s order, there is none better, Rom. 11:33-36, 1 Cor. 1:25;14:33,40. It is a sad state of affairs when one of our own forsakes the assembly. We want as many as possible to become a part of the church, 1

Tim. 2:1-4, but it is both dismaying and discouraging to see someone who is already a part of the church choose the cares and desires of this life over gathering with the saints. Well, Amy, you can’t judge a person’s heart on whether or not they are at services, you might say. You are correct. Only God and you can know your heart, 1 Sam 16:7. But what about actions? Can we judge those? Paul wrote that Christians will “judge the world”, 1 Cor. 6:2. When Christ taught in the temple, He said, “Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgement.” (Jn. 7:24) There is a right way to judge and a wrong way to judge. Jesus, in His sermon on the mount, told His audience that “by their fruits” you can know a person, Mt. 7:16-20.

So let’s talk about some of those fruits…

Yes, there will be times and circumstances that will disallow some to be at every service. From illness to car trouble, life is unpredictable. There have been moments I have seen certain actions and mistook those actions for intentional forsaking of fellowship only to find I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had just asked, Mt. 18:15. Caring for a loved one at home. Lack of transportation. The necessity of a job on Sunday mornings to put food on the table. So many honest reasons can impede one’s ability to meet with the saints every service. (This is one reason why most congregations I have worshipped with have more than one service on Sundays.) I have learned to ask, Mt. 7:7. We are also commanded to bear with one another, Rom. 15:1, and be gentle with one another, Phil. 4:5. Jumping to the conclusion that anyone who misses services is doing so for sinful purposes denotes a lack of trust in one another. Our approach should be “innocent until proven guilty”. Once the truth of the matter is found, what is to be done if they are actually forsaking the assembly for reasons that are not honest reasons? Some stay home for worship services because they fear getting sick - but are seen at stores, restaurants, and such like where they are just as (if not more) likely to get sick. Staying out of church because you’re sick but showing up to work the next day begs the question, why too sick for God but not too sick for work? Some consider that a vacation from work includes a vacation from God. What if God took a vacation from us? That is frightful just in imagination. Some stay up late on Saturday night playing video games or in some other fun activity and decide they’d rather sleep in than go to morning services. It’s “too early” for their liking and they only attend evening services. They prioritize fun over God. Yes, many of us have to get up very early in the mornings, but is skipping the last fifteen minutes of service on Sunday or Wednesday night really making a difference in how your Monday or Thursday goes? Trading a chance to spend quality time with Christians for convenience, bad planning, or personal frivolities is not a fair trade. If you prefer these over fellowship, then you won’t like Heaven. We can talk all day long about those that can’t be at worship but want to be so badly and those that can find every excuse not to gather with the saints. Do you know what it does to Christian morale when those that call themselves one of us would rather be elsewhere than with us? I’ve seen first-hand people that are so tired from working two jobs to provide for their family that they can barely hold their song book to read the lyrics - and still show up every time the church building doors are open, because they love seeing their brethren and worshipping God. I’ve also seen people that would rather travel hours and sit in the cold to be at a football game than be at services in a climate-controlled building five minutes down the road. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Mt. 6:21) It’s all about what we rate as important. Too many put God at the bottom of their list. His name is what gets discarded when their list runs out of room. For Christians, God isn’t just at the top of our list. He’s the paper upon which our list is written. Let’s also remember what the Bible has to say about it. “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all

your strength.’ This is the first commandment.” (Mk. 12:30) Those that have a heart that wants to please God because that heart loves God will make every effort to do the things that God commands. He commands fellowship, Heb. 10:19-25. He does that for US. We are bombarded by Satan so much throughout the week, we should look forward to each time we can meet with our brothers and sisters in Christ, to be reminded that this life is not the permanent one and that these are the people with whom we will share Heaven. Don’t forget Who will decide whether or not Heaven is our home, Mt. 10:32-33. He will know who decided to be at the assembly and who decided to be at the Super Bowl. We as brothers and sisters in Christ are responsible for keeping one another in mind of how important it is for us to stick together. We must also do so according to scripture, Mt. 18:15-17. The way we handle things is just as important as the why we handle things. We are commanded to “speak with grace, seasoned with salt” when we talk with each other, Col. 4:6. Remember Abraham’s words to his nephew, Lot: “Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren.” (Gen. 13:8) We as Christians represent Christ; we are ambassadors of the Kingdom known as the church, 2 Cor. 5:20. To be a faithful ambassador, Prov. 13:17, we must give an accurate representation of Christ. When we handle tough situations between brethren as Christ would, delicately and in love, then we are being faithful ambassadors, 1 Jn. 2:10. Our words can plant gardens or burn down forests. Only one of those options will benefit the church. “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.” (James 1:19).

It matters those whom you let in as your circle. We feed off of each other; some symbiotically, others carnivorously. In many, many circles, selfish ambition is what matters. People that are willing to use others as stepping stones seek out such groups. They put their own success above all else. There are also circles that seek out the success of the circle itself at any cost. Cliques will include only those that fit. In this, they give up the ability to benefit from diversity. Without diversity, they cannot accomplish anything outside their limited spectrum of talents. Then you have a collection of individuals that are morally united and dedicated to helping each other. Now look at the church: millions of people with different backgrounds, experiences, and talents, selflessly dedicating themselves to helping one another reach Heaven and spreading the gospel of Christ to the world as a successful, peaceful assembly of humans. When you have this unity, there is peace - but this peace isn’t just the absence of conflict. It is also the presence of justice. We are the children of the mighty, loving, just, ubiquitous God, 1 Jn. 3:1, Nahum 1:3. He has set the standard, Mt. 7:21. As long as we follow that standard, we are and will remain the faithful church Christ established, 2 Tim. 2:24-26. Stepping away from that standard, however, comes with dire consequences, 2 Thess. 1:5-6.

There are congregations of the Lord’s church that have all the types of circles. When an outsider becomes interested in knowing more about the church, do we present the church for which Christ died, or do we show them a man-made cluster of divided people? If the latter, we will answer for scaring away prospective Christians, or worse, leading the lost down an even more lost path. “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Mt. 18:6)

This world is full of souls - some found, but most lost. We as the church are to be a beacon, Mt. 5:14-16, guiding the lost. The more sparks we add to the light, the brighter the beam. If you are looking for a place to belong, I can tell you of the kingdom that surpasses the abilities of mankind to fulfill the need to a part of something magnificent. It is so precious, it was bought with blood, Acts 20:28. Its King is unbeatable, 1 Tim. 1:17. The bond between the members of this kingdom is forged in love, Jn. 13:35. You won’t find Easy Street in this kingdom - at least not while it’s here on Earth, 1 Cor. 15:58, 2 Cor. 5:9, 2 Tim. 3:12, but many hands make light work, Ecc. 4:9, and the reward is beyond words, 2 Cor. 12:1-4, Mt. 11:28-30. I invite you to come and be a part of the fellowship with the saints at any faithful congregation of the church of Christ. I will leave you with the words of Christ: “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” (Rev. 22:17)