"What is Forgiveness?" - Amy Lawrence

We as the fallible humans that have been made in the image of God often have conflicting ideas concerning forgiveness. Our sinful nature would have us to hold grudges and forgive but never forget. Scripture teaches, however, that we can control that sinful nature and bring it under subjection to the law of Christ (Romans 7-8). The words of forgiveness Jesus spoke while in agony on the cross are the words that ring in the life of a faithful Christian that would forgive the way God forgives. What does scripture say about how God forgives? Let’s see.

The Prodigal Son

Each stage of forgiveness can be seen in Luke’s account of the Prodigal Son. He tells us of the son who left home to dive headfirst into prodigal living (Lk. 15:11-32). Following are the four stages of forgiveness:

Sin = riotous living. The prodigal son engaged in prodigal living as soon as he had acquired the inheritance from his father. By asking for his inheritance before his father had passed, as was the cultural practice then and now, the son in essence was telling his father that he was dead to him, vss. 11-13.

Repentance = “came to himself”/ went to his father. God told the Israelites that if they “come to themselves AND repent”, that He would hear and forgive (1 Kings 8:46-50). The prodigal son “came to himself”, vs. 17, and reasoned. He knew how his father treated even his servants, caring for all in his household. He humbled himself, debasing himself to the position of a servant with the intention of returning to his father and asking for a servant’s share. But it didn’t end there with just good intentions. He returned, vs. 20.

Prayer = the request the son made as a servant and not as his son. This denoted humility. God places value on a humble heart. David wrote, in his psalm concerning his adultery with Bathsheba, that the Lord will not despise the sacrifices of a broken spirit and a contrite heart (Ps. 51:17). 

2Chr. 7:14 “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Our prayer must be made with the knowledge that we tried our way, and it didn’t work. It’s time to do things God’s way. 

Forgiveness = the prodigal son was lost and is now found. 

Matt. 18:12 “ “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying?

Matt. 18:13 And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.” “

Sin

To understand forgiveness, we first have to understand sin.

The Bible is incredibly descriptive of sin, but there are four different terms scripture uses, and each one has a slightly different meaning: sin, trespass, transgression, iniquity. Three are found in Ex. 34:7. Ex. 34:7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.

All communicate the same idea of what sin is - a departure from the will of God. 

Sin - “to miss the mark”. This can be done against God or against a person (Ex. 10:16) and include sins of commission (1 Jn. 3:4) or omission (James 4:17, Mt. 23:23). Sacrifices under the Law of Moses included sins committed in ignorance (Num. 15:27). Sin is used generally as anything that falls short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). It is also used to describe the fleshly nature of mankind (Gen. 3:6-7, Rom. 5:12). Unchecked, it leads to a “reprobate mind” (Rom. 1:24). Our innate sinful nature tends to gravitate toward selfishness, envy, and pride. even when our intentions are to do good. Paul wrote of this in Rom. 7:18. 

Trespass - going beyond a line drawn, whether with spontaneous intent or unintentionally. It can also mean falling away after being close by. Peter trespassed in denying Jesus (Luke 22:34, 56-62). It is most common in the habitual sins, i.e. thought, word, or attitude, and is used in Mt. 6:14-15.

Transgression - choose intentionally to go beyond, disobey. Samson intentionally touched a dead lion and later allowed Delilah to cut his hair (Num. 6:1-5, Judges 14:8-9; 16:17), willfully breaking his Nazarite vow. The Pharisees intentionally transgressed God’s word in order to hold to their traditions (Mt. 15:3).

Iniquity - a more deeply rooted form of sin. It is a premeditated sin that is continued without repentance. David, in his attempt to hide his original adultery with Bathsheba, premeditated the murder of Uriah the Hittite (2 Sam. 11:3-4, 2 Sam. 12:9). David acknowledged it as such (Ps. 51:2-3) Micah the prophet wrote, “Woe to them that devise iniquity, and work evil upon their beds! when the morning is light, they practice it, because it is in the power of their hand.” (Micah 2:1)

Repentance

Now that we have an understanding of sin, let’s get into repentance.

God has the ability and willingness to forgive any type of sin. But something must take place on our end first: repentance.

2Chr. 7:14 “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Ezek. 18:30 “ “Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways,” says the Lord GOD. “Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin.

Ezek. 18:31 Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel?

Ezek. 18:32 For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,” says the Lord GOD. “Therefore turn and live!” “

2Pet. 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”

Acts 8:20 “But Peter said to him, “Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money!

Acts 8:21 You have neither part nor portion in this matter, for your heart is not right in the sight of God.

Acts 8:22 Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” “

Acts 2:37  “Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do?

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 2:39 For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.”

All paint the same picture - repentance is a change of the mind that results in a change of action.

If my wedding ring is stolen and I know the thief and confront them, and then the thief comes and asks me for forgiveness, am I obligated to grant forgiveness? Yes. Jesus said to His disciples, “seventy times seven”, using an exaggerated number to denote that we are to grant forgiveness as many times as it is asked. Am I obligated in that granting of forgiveness to also include they keep the ring? No. Forgiveness does not dissolve the consequences of sin (2 Sam. 12:13-14). If I demand that they return the ring and they refuse, is that repentance? 

Are they sorry because they want to do right, or are they sorry because they got caught? 

2Cor. 7:9 “Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing.

2Cor. 7:10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”

John 8:39 They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father. Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham’s children, ye would do the works of Abraham.

Luke uses the phrase “fruits worthy of repentance” in his gospel (Lk. 3:8). What does this mean, exactly? In the context of Luke 3, John is preaching the baptism of repentance in the wilderness of Judea. There were some that had come to be baptized, but John made clear that there was a prerequisite: works of repentance. When they asked, “What shall we do?” John responded with the answers (vss. 11-14). Paul used a similar phrase in Acts 26:20, “works meet for repentance”. A person that is truly repentant is a person that shows such in their choices and actions.

Prayer

Our requests are made known to God through prayer (Phil. 4:6, 1 Jn. 5:14-15). The Christian has this access through the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:26-27), and through prayer forgiveness is received (James 5:15).

But there are some prayers that God refuses to hear.

Prov. 28:9 “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, Even his prayer is an abomination.”

Is. 59:1 “Behold, the LORD’S hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear.

Is. 59:2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear. “

1Pet. 3:12 “For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.”

So the question is, if we ask for forgiveness without the repentance, without the intention of stepping away from the sin, will we receive forgiveness? 

Forgiveness

There are two perspectives to forgiveness: 

-lateral - forgiveness between two persons

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

-verticle - forgiveness of God to man

Acts 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.

When Jesus gave His disciples the model prayer in Mt. 6:9-13, part of that prayer was forgiveness - both lateral and vertical: “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”.

But is forgiveness conditional?

In chapter 18 of Matthew, Jesus gives the parable of the unforgiving servant (vss. 21-35). God tells us that if we don’t forgive others, He won’t forgive us (Mt. 6:14-15). In that same chapter, Jesus gives parameters as to how we should deal with offenses (vss. 15-17):

-The offense has to be addressed between the offended and the offender alone. 

-If the first step does not solve the problem, then one or two witnesses are required. 

-If the problem continues to be unsolved, it is put before the church and addressed.

-If the offender will not be persuaded by the church, then church discipline is required. 

The best course of action is God’s course of action, not our own. We are human and have emotions that would persuade us in another direction that God would not have us follow. Jeremiah wrote, “The heart is deceitful above all things...” (Jer. 17:9) There are times when our current emotional state cannot be trusted. Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “Be angry, and do not sin...neither give place to the devil.” (Eph. 4:26-27) Anger is a natural emotion, one of the easiest to feel and hardest to control.  Everyone has a story of a bad decision made in anger. It is also an emotion that has a 0% success rate in the forgiveness department. Before forgiveness can occur, the anger has to be replaced with another emotion - compassion. Often, communication is the barrier that prevents such an exchange. God commands that the offense must first be addressed between the offender and the offended through communication. I cannot count how many times the offense between myself and another was simply a miscommunication. So many offenses I’ve had in relationships were solved with just step one. Most people are willing to talk. Some let fear keep them from doing so. 

When all steps are followed and the offender does not ask forgiveness, are we still obligated to forgive? The Bible gives an example of such a scenario. Paul’s first letter to the church at Corinth tells us of a man who was involved in sexual sins that were known to the congregation, chapter 5. He admonished the church there for not addressing the sin and putting it out of their midst, verses 1-5. Church discipline was practiced. The man was disfellowshipped. In Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, the same man is mentioned - but as one showing repentance and seeking forgiveness (2 Cor. 2:6-8). Paul assures them that the discipline inflicted had the results desired; it brought back the brother lost. He goes on to mention the emotion found in forgiveness: “love toward him.” When such a repentant one seeks forgiveness,  they should be welcomed back with open arms, “ for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (Lk. 15:24) All in heaven rejoice, and so should we! (Lk. 15:7,10)

If one literally considers forgiveness, only God has the power to forgive (Mk. 2:7, Lk. 5:21). He knows, however, the connection forgiveness creates and/or keeps in human relationships. Our hearts were not built to hold anger, and that is one reason why forgiveness is a benefit for the forgiver as much as the forgiven. Sometimes forgiveness is not asked and we have to forgive anyway so that our hearts do not become damaged. Stephen forgave, even when it wasn’t requested (Acts 7:60). In forgiveness, we should remember the passage found in Luke 7:41-48:

“There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” 

And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.” Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

We are all debtors to Christ - and we are all in need of forgiveness. To assume that we do not owe another forgiveness is to forget the price that was paid for ours. 

Conclusion

As I studied for this article, I gained a deeper understanding of forgiveness. There are many factors to being a good forgiver; love, humility, gratitude, thankfulness, patience, understanding, and above all an ability to admit faults and grow from them...and to accept that others may also be growing. A heart that holds all of these is a heart that can forgive like God forgives. 

*Contributed by Amy Lawrence - McMinnville, TN