"The No Drama Club" - Amy Lawrence

Peacemakers

The No Drama Club

There is a particular type of personality in certain individuals I have encountered over the years that I call the “drama junkie” personality. Drama is an addiction to them; if they don’t have it, they seek it. If they can’t find it, they make it. It is a way of life they have lived for so long that they know no other way to exist. Peace and quiet are foreign to them, even painful sometimes. They are, as a result of their personality, characteristically dramatic - both emotionally and practically. A relationship with such a person rarely involves peace. Given that God commands Christians to be

Peacemakers (Rom. 12:18), I felt it necessary to dive into a study, not just as an article subject, but for my own personal spiritual growth as well. Please allow me to share with you what I found.

It would be ridiculous for me to suggest that all drama can be avoided. We all know that such is not the case in this life. Struggles are a reality, and truth be told, there are enough of them occurring naturally that makes purposely adding more a senseless endeavor. Matthew wrote, “sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Mt. 6:34). We don’t need to add to an already heavy load of daily struggles…but there are those that cannot seem to help themselves. It’s a habit, really; one that some continue in ignorance and some continue on purpose. The ways by which drama is cultivated more popularly among us as women include gossiping and meddling in affairs that do not concern us. Scripture gives the usual reason for such actions: idleness, 2 Thess. 3:11, 1 Tim. 5:13. The old maxim “Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop” rings all too true. We tell this to our children, but there are some adults that could benefit from the proverb as well. What is rarely acknowledged is the division that is caused by such actions. Gossip can divide the closest of friends. Meddling can separate like an axe laid to a block of wood. Paul pleaded with the Corinthians that there “be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement”, 1 Cor. 1:10. He later stated that there should be “no schism (division) in the body (church), but that the members should have the same care for one another”, 1 Cor. 12:25. So…how do we do this?

The first step to solving any problem is acknowledging that there is a problem. Women are stereotyped for being gossipers, and for good reason. It’s generally women doing the gossiping. This is not to say that men never gossip, but let’s be real here, ladies. Men are not famous for talking about feelings, and they rarely, if ever, have the inclination to meddle in others’ affairs. Women are normally the culprits. I myself despise gossip. I’ve seen what it can do. It is a viral evil that destroys trust and connection. There is no such thing as innocent gossip. It is done purely for entertainment purposes and has no value whatsoever. As a matter of fact, it costs more than it garners. Solomon wrote, “He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.” (Prov. 26:17) I’d like to think we are all smart enough to stay well away from a dog’s teeth, but somehow we have all fallen into the trap of listening to/helping spread gossip and meddling in affairs of which we have no business meddling. I have been guilty, and as my past contains incidents of such, I have learned first hand the damage such actions produce. It’s like a drug; we know it’s wrong, but our carnal minds find ways to justify it. I hate it, try my best to avoid it, but it is still a temptation. The good thing is, we know Someone that can help us avoid temptation.

There are a number of tools necessary to avoid such temptations. A primary tool in our Christian toolbox should be courage. When we read of the Christian armor in Ephesians 6, this courage is found in the context. Notice verses 11, 13, and 14 use the word “stand”. There is courage in standing instead of cowering or running away. Gossiping is cowardly. First, the subject of the gossip is not there to defend themselves, and second, gossip is an attempt to recruit others to join in the behavior. If a person has committed a legitimate offense worth mentioning, there is protocol found in scripture for such situations, Mt. 18:15-17. Have courage, and be gentle, Gal. 6:1. If it’s not worth mentioning, don’t mention it. 

Another tool in our box should be wisdom. The Holy Spirit through Solomon said, “Wisdom is the principal thing…” (Prov. 4:7). How do we gain wisdom? Where does it begin? I recommend studying the phrase “fear of the Lord” in scripture. It is remarkable how many times and in what context you will find this phrase. The psalmist wrote, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” (Psalm. 111:10). Wisdom in scripture is often coupled with knowledge and understanding. We like to call it “sense” or “reason”. A person that is in possession of these faculties has the ability through learning and experience to make wise decisions. Meddling is making an unwise decision to become a part of a situation that is none of our business. Peter tried to meddle, Jn. 21:21. Jesus, in so many words, told Peter it was none of his business and that he should keep his focus on what truly mattered, vs. 22. We are encouraged by scripture to do the same, 1 Pet. 4:14-16.

Christians are called to be peacemakers, Mt. 5:9. This false idea that peace means a complete absence of drama is not supported by scripture, because peace is not the absence of drama. It is the presence of justice. As long as there is justice, there is peace. When justice begins to disappear, history has proven time and again that peace shortly follows. We must also notice in scripture that peace is the direct antithesis of division. This concept is brought out in verses such as Lk. 12:51 and Eph. 2:14-15. As division separates, peace brings together. We must unite against sin instead of allowing ourselves to be divided because of sin. Part of this unity is allowing ourselves to be subject to one another, 1 Pet. 5:5. We must help one another. Part of this help is encouraging, and part is rebuking. We must be humble enough to receive both with alacrity, give both with love, courage, and gentleness. 

Let us be peacemakers, James 3:13-18.