HOM-2 - Act & Purpose to Marriage
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GODLY HOMES IN AN UNGODLY WORLD
“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife and the two shall become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24.
Welcome to our study of the home and especially today as we think
about the wonderful subject of marriage.
Today we think about the vitally important subject of marriage.
Marriage is indeed the key to the home, family, society, and the nation.
What exactly is marriage?
Many times we turn to definitions like Webster's to define what
marriage is. For example Webster's states this about marriage: Marriage is
the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife
in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. Or it is the
state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that
of a traditional marriage.
Is Webster the authority when it comes to marriage? Is it the case
that whatever the state recognizes that must be a marriage? Whether it's
between a man or woman? Or whether it's between two men or two
Sometimes we look to places like a legal dictionary to define what
marriage is. For example Black's law dictionary defines marriage this way:
Marriage as distinguished from the arrangement to marry and from the act
of becoming married is the symbol status of one man and one woman
united in law for life for the discharge to each other and the community of
duties legally incumbent on those whose association it is founded on the
distinction of sex.
Well is marriage really just a contractual agreement based on civil
law for the purpose of human relations? You know, Tennessee even has its
own definition of what marriage is. For example, they legally define it this
way: Marriage is the legal union in matrimony of only one man and one
woman shall be the only recognized marriage in this state. Any policy, law,
or judicial interpretation that purports to define marriage as anything other
than the historical institution and legal contract between one man and one
woman is contrary to the public policy of marriage.
Well, it's good that states have put into their laws stipulations that
define marriage indeed as one man, one woman sharing rights
responsibilities together. But friend, our nation is headed down a path
where such may not be the case very much longer.
In 1996 in fact the defense of marriage act was put in place. It was an
act of Congress. It said this in determining the meaning of any act of
Congress or of any ruling regulation or interpretation of the various
administrative bureaus and agencies of the United States: the word
marriage means only a legal union between one man and one woman as
husband and wife and the word spouse refers to only a person of the
opposite sex, who is a husband and wife.
Friend as you can tell things have changed a lot since 1996.
We now have a host of states and our government and its President
supporting marriage as not just a union between a man and woman-
between two men, between two women. Homosexual marriage is on the
Is that really what God intended for marriage to be? Is that really what
God wants it to be?
Let's hear a Bible definition. You know we show all these definitions
given by men to show that society has for some time recognized marriage
between one man and woman, but it's also changing. Here's the thing that
doesn't change: the Bible definition of marriage.
Notice quoted by Jesus in Matthew 19:5, to apply to people in the
New Testament age, those of us today, from Genesis 2:24 given as a law
of creation. Here's what the Scripture says, “For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh. So then they are no longer two but one flesh, therefore
what God is joined together let not man separate.”
How did God define marriage? Two people: man and woman, coming
together, uniting themselves, in the sight of God to serve as one family unit.
God says, ‘What I joined together, let not man separate.”
Let's think about then from the Scripture, what are some of the
We know first of all that marriage is instituted, given, authorized and
created by God. It was ordained by Him. It's His plan, His idea, and He's
the one who made marriage. And thus, as the home goes, so goes society
and the church.
What did God Institute marriage for? God created for Adam a woman
named Eve. In Genesis 2:18, “God saw that it was not good for man to be
alone.” Companionship. He made him a helper to help him live life, to enjoy
life, and to help him get to heaven. It was a helper comparable to him. God
instituted marriage to help Adam. Marriage helps every man and woman in
this life to face the challenges, to enjoy the blessings and the beauties of it,
and to help one another through life as a companion or helpmate.
What else do we know about marriage? Not only is it instituted or
given by God, marriage is a covenant. It's an agreement that two people
enter into willingly and very seriously. Romans 7:1-4 shows that the old law
being done away with, the old law dying and Christ and His new covenant
coming forth and we are married to that today. He uses the illustration of
marriage to show that it was to be until death. Do two people part? It's a
contract. It's an agreement. When two people decide to marry that's a very
serious agreement. That's something binding upon them until death. The
only other exception Jesus gave in Matthew 19:9 was fornication-and then
and only then does the innocent party have the right to remarry.
And so we think about marriage, not only as ordained by God, but as
a very serious contract or covenant that must not be entered into lightly.
When we say that we mean this: just because two people have a fuzzy
warm feeling for one another- is it a license to marry? There needs to be
forethought, planning, and there needs to be a host of decisions talked
about before they enter into marriage. They need to realize they’re going to
make this work no matter what- until death do us part.
A third fundamental about marriage is this: marriage is indeed the
beginning of a new family or home unit. We say that for this purpose: when
God said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother be
joined to his wife,” there is a very important principle taught there. Two
people, when they marry, are now in their home governed by God's laws, in
their family unit, and they're not governed by father and mother anymore.
They leave father and mother, and they start their own family unit. Here's
where that's important: They make their own decisions based on the Bible.
They're accountable now for their own actions. What father and mother do
or don't do is not what governs their home. They need to be a new unit that
looks to God that no longer looks back to father and mother where they
once lived, where they were once a part of a family unit. They now need to
rely on each other, put their trust in God together, and strive to work
together as a family to help and indeed help their children and themselves
get to heaven.
What are some of the purposes of marriage? Why did God create the
wonderful relationship of marriage?
One of the first reasons we see in Scripture is to provide
companionship. Remember Genesis 2:18. “God looked down on His
creation Adam the first man,” and God saw something. ‘He created all the
animals. And Adam had named them and all the birds and all the fish and
Adam had given them names and still a companion for Adam was not
found.’ And so, “The Lord God saw that it was not good for man to be
alone.” Why did God create Eve for Adam? Here's why: to provide
companionship. Man by his very nature is not designed to be alone. He's
not designed to live somewhere in a monastery all his life by himself- that's
not how God designed man. No, God created man with the unique need
and ability to have companionship, to share his life, to enjoy the ups and
the downs together, depend, rely, and to need one another in this life. One
of man's basic needs is for that companionship. God said in Ecclesiastes
4:9-12 “two are better than one and a threefold cord cannot quickly be
broken.” There's strength, there's power, and there's encouragement in
companionship these days.
If that's the case then friend listen carefully, if our marriages are going
to be what God wants them to, we need to really be the companion that we
ought to be. We need to share in our conversation, share in our joys, and
our hurts. We need to strive to be as close as we can be and have that
companionship-the blessing that God gave us of another person to share
Another purpose for marriage found in the Bible is to propagate the
human race. In Genesis 1:28 God said to His creation, “Be fruitful and
Society today does not see marriage as an important part in
accomplishing this. Now I want you think about this. If part of man's
responsibility, and we understand that in a relationship where a husband or
wife can't do that for medical reasons- maybe one of them can't have
children- we're not saying that that they're sinning against God, but that is
one of the purposes. God desires godly offspring. He wants us to bring
children into the world and to raise them to know Him and His laws. Society
today just doesn't see that as an important way to accomplish the purpose
that God has for marriage.
I want you to think about this: if part of the purpose of marriage is to
bring godly offspring into the world, can homosexuality accomplish that
purpose? Can two men bring children into the world? Can two women bring
children into the world?
Well of course not! That's biologically impossible for it to take place.
Somewhere there has to be a man and a woman to bring children into the
world. If part of the purpose of marriage is to propagate the human race,
homosexuality cannot meet that purpose that God set forth for man and
woman. And thus, we must realize it's contrary to the will of Almighty God.
Let's then think about another purpose for marriage. God also set
marriage in place to prevent sexual immorality. There's no doubt that each
person is created with a sexual desire that desire is given by God. It is
good if used within the proper scope and area. Where is that proper area?
It's reserved only for marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says this: “Marriage is
honorable, the bed” (speaking there of relations between a man a woman)
“the bed undefiled.” Pure, holy, and right is the sexual relationship between
a husband and wife. “But whoremongers and adulterers,” God says, “I will
judge.” You see my friend, marriage should prevent sexual immorality. 1
Corinthians 7:2-5 the Christians in Corinth wrote to Paul with some
questions. Evidently one of those questions had to deal with lust, desire,
passion, and how to control that. Paul said, “It's better to marry than to burn
with what passion, lust, and desire.” Marriage is designed to prevent sexual
I want you to listen real carefully to what we're going to say-it's really
important especially to society today-so many people are taught that before
marriage sex relations between a man a woman all the things that go along
with that is just testing the waters. They say it’s okay that there's nothing
anything wrong with that as long as you do it safely. That's not what God
says. Planned Parenthood may promote safety.
What does God say? 1 Peter 2:11 God says this, “Abstain from
sexual immorality which wars against the soul.” The only proper place for
sexual relations is between a husband and wife. Young people listen
carefully, why is it the case that there are so many young mothers today
with round bellies and no rings on their finger? Here's why: because we
think sexual morality is okay today. We think it's okay if that's the case.
Friend that's not true. The only place God has authorized sexual
relations between a man a woman is inside the bounds of marriage and in
so keeping that keeps marriage special. It keeps it holy and it keeps that
relationship something given by God as a very important part of what God
has set forth.
And so when we think about premarital relations, let's realize while
society may say that's okay that's something that's sinful and ungodly. It’s
something that God Himself does indeed condemn.
Let's think about another then vitally important purpose for marriage.
It's this: God created man and woman. God created the home. God created
marriage to help one another get to heaven.
Now you think about this in Matthew 19:4-6 the Bible says, “What
God has joined together let not man separate.” I want you to think of
marriage as a triangle. At the bottom corner we've got man and at the other
side we’ve got woman. Those two are joined together. Then they are joined
together by God. God is at the top of that triangle. He joins man to God and
woman to God and then man to woman. Without God at the center there
can be no marriage that is going to bring honor to Him. Marriage is to help
one another get to heaven. The closer we are to God the closer we are to
one another. God's truly at the center of it. The closer I am to God naturally
the closer I am to my spouse. The closer I am to the one whom God has
given me to help me get to heaven and to strive to be what God wants me
to be in this life and to really please Him in everything that we say and do.
In Psalm 34:3 a question is asked about marriage and God and how we
can strive together to please Him. The psalmist in essence says in Psalm
34:3 “Magnify the Lord with me, let us exalt His name together.”
And so, let's think for just a moment about our marriages. Are they
really magnifying God as they ought to be? Are we doing what we should in
the home to give honor and glory to Him in everything that we say and do?
I want to direct your attention for just a moment to the words of Paul
as it relates to the family and the home. In Ephesians 5:22 Paul gives us
some guidelines to follow for the home. The Bible says, “Wives submit to
your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of wife, as
also Christ is the head of the church and He is the Savior of the body
therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their
In everything we know about the husband-wife relationship, husbands
are to be the head of the home. Meaning that they're to be the leaders. Are
we out to make them a dictator? God never intended for the husband to be
a dictator giving out commands and bossing people around. That's not the
idea. Are they the head of home? Sure. Do they have authority given by
God? Should that be respected? Absolutely! But the husband, as the head
of the home, is the spiritual leader. He is the one who God placed at the top
of that home. He's the one who carries the brunt of the load. He should to
strive to lead everybody spiritually in the right.
Well what about wives? They're to submit to their own husbands and
the condition is as to the Lord. Wives are not to lead the homes. That was
never designed by God. There are homes where sadly the wife does have
dominance and that's not the way God said it. We’re not saying that she's
inferior but rather there is a proper role and authority God set in order.
Wives are to be submissive to their husbands, as to the Lord. That phrase
‘as to the Lord,’ is a key to understanding that for the Lord himself expects
each of us to be submissive but how the Lord doesn't force me. He doesn't
make me. He doesn't do it in an ungodly, unkind way. We submit to Him
because we know He's looking out for everyone's best interest. He has our
best interest at heart. We love Him because He loves us. I know He's
leading us in the right direction. We indeed put Him first in the home and in
Now notice a little further in Ephesians 5:25 the Bible says,
“Husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for her that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of
water by the word that He might present her to himself a glorious church
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and
What do we know about the husband and his relationship to the
wife? He is to love her how as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love
the church? Acts 20:27-28 tells us Jesus loved the church so much He
purchased her with his own blood. He was willing to sacrifice to give His life
to do everything possible to bring the church into existence.
Friend when we think about our own lives, husbands ought to love
their wives with that same sacrificial mindset. Are we putting them first? Are
we really looking out for their interests? Are we making sure that physically,
emotionally, and financially in every way they're being provided? That's part
of the responsibility God gives to the husband. He wants his wife to be just
as Christ wanted the church to be: pure and holy and spotless without
blemish. He wants to put her up on a pedestal that ought to be the mindset
or the mentality that husbands have.
Notice what Paul says a little further in Ephesians 5:28. The Bible
says, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He
who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but
nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church.” How am I to
feel about my wife? Just like I would my own body. Nobody is going to
abuse, ridicule, or look down- nobody in their right mind- is going to
demean or do anything unkind to their own body. The greatest advice here
goes all the way back to the Golden rule. Matthew 7:12, we ought to do
unto others as we would have them do unto us. How do I want to be
treated? How do I want to be related to? How do I want people talk to me?
How do I want to be loved? Those same ideas I have about how I want to
be loved are the way I ought to love my wife, my children, and my family.
We ought to be gracious and kind. We ought to give people the benefit of
the doubt. We ought to strive to make people feel good, to build one
another up, and help one another get to heaven.
As we think about marriage, let's think about the spiritual relationship
that each of us can have with God. God wants His children to be united
with Him in a relationship, in the church that is likened unto marriage,
where Christ is the head of the church. A relationship where God is our
Father and whereas children we're submissive and obedient to Almighty
We ask you today, have you submitted your life to the will of God?
Have you really become a son or daughter of God?
If not friend, why not enter into the greatest relationship you can ever
In becoming a child of God you now will have the privilege to look up
into heaven and say: “Our Father who art in heaven,” Matthew 6:9. We
have the benefit and the great blessing of having all our sins washed away
in the blood of the Lamb, Acts 2:38. We have a new family, the church
Ephesians 2:16 where we encourage and we strive to help one another get
to heaven every day.
Is marriage under attack? You bet it is! Can we do something to
prevent that? Absolutely! Let's build our marriages on the foundation of
God and His word. Let's make sure that God is at the center and as the
psalmist said, “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who
build it.” God desires godly offspring. He wants our marriages to be that
which will help us really be the helpmate to get to heaven. Only we can do
that. God's not going to force us.
Let's determine today, each one of us in our homes and our families
and in our marriages, to put God first, to help every person in the family get
to heaven, and to really be the light God wants us to be in a world of
Study Questions for: “Godly Homes: Lesson 2”
1. According to Genesis 2:24, who shall become 1 flesh?
2. In Matthew 19, what has been joined by God?
3. According to Genesis 2:18, why did God make Eve for Adam?
4. What is the only exception for a marriage to end according to Matthew
5. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, what is better than 1?
6. According to Genesis 1:28, what is the purpose for marriage?
7. Where is the proper place for sexual relations according to Hebrews
8. What wages war against the soul according to 1 Peter2:11?
9. How are husbands to love their wives according to Ephesians 5:25?
10. According to Ephesians 2:16, who is our family as Christians?