HOM-8 - The Role of the Children
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GODLY HOMES IN AN UNGODLY WORLD
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right," Ephesians 6:1.
Welcome to our final lesson of Godly Homes in an Ungodly World.
In this series of lessons, we have tried to reach out to those who are
in the home whether it be father, mother, children, or those thinking about
getting married. These lessons help to set some biblical standards for
dating, having a successful marriage, or the role and responsibility of each
in the home.
These lessons have had the mindset and desire of making our homes
godly homes in an ungodly world.
Today, as we conclude our series on Godly Homes in an Ungodly
World, we think about the role and responsibility of children in the home.
Now, we understand that the father is the head, and the mother is
that keeper of the home, the one who takes care of those in the home as
What about the responsibility of children?
Children are in submission to both parents and have the responsibility
to obey, submit, and comply with the guidelines of God and their father and
I want to begin by just mentioning some Proverbs that I hope will set
the tone and tenor for children in the home and offer encouragement as
Proverbs 27:11 says this, "My son, be wise and make my heart glad
that I may answer him who reproaches me." What do parents really want
from children? Children who will have the forethought to think about the
decisions they make and make their parents glad by making the right
choices in life. That's what every parent wants.
Listen to Proverbs 20:11 the Bible says, "Even a child is known by his
deeds, whether what he does is pure and right." What are parents looking
for? Children who will make decisions and choose the right action because
it's pure and it's right. I understand there's a lot of peer pressure today.
There is the desire to be popular and liked but what parents and God are
really looking for is children who will make decisions first and foremost
because they're pure and they're right in the sight of God.
Listen to this proverb: Proverbs 10:1, the Bible says, "A wise son
makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother." Parents
want children they can be proud of, who are following God and the dictates
of his heart, as well as living up to their responsibility in the home.
Notice this proverb as well: Proverbs 17:25 says, "A foolish son is a
grief to his father and bitterness to him who bore him." Don't live your life in
such a way that your actions and choices grieve your parents or make
them become bitter toward you, rather strive to live as God wants you to in
How is that? Listen to Ecclesiastes 12:1.The Bible says to all young
people, "Remember now your creator in the days of your youth before the
difficult days come and the years draw near when you say I have no
pleasure in them."
What's one of the key ideas for young people to live a successful and
godly life? Here it is: "Remember your creator". What's that mean? Put God
first in every decision you make in the home, in the job, in dating and
recreation. Ask yourself, "Does this, will this decision help me to ‘seek first
God and His kingdom?’” Matthew 6:33.
Now, we begin by thinking about the home and the role of children in
the home with a blockbuster passage concerning this idea in Ephesians
6:1-3.Notice what the Bible here says, "Children, obey your parents in the
Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first
commandment with promise" and here's the promise: "that it may be well
with you and that you may live long on the earth."
When you think about the Holy Spirit's instructions to children, you've
really got two breakdowns here. Children are to obey their parents. The
Bible says, in Colossians 3:20 that they are to "obey their parents in the
Lord." Ephesians 6:1-4 "as is fitting in the Lord". Romans 1:30 mentions
those, among those sins of the Gentiles, those who were disobedient to
Children, listen carefully, you're not the authority. You're not the
decision-maker. Your responsibility in the home is to obey.
Does that mean that your ideas, suggestions, and your feelings are to
be completely ignored? That's not what's being said. Any godly father or
mother who is seeking to have a godly, productive home is always thinking
about what's best for the welfare, spiritually, physically, emotionally, of our
children. You've got to trust that your parents, if they're godly parents, are
striving to do that even though you may not see eye to eye in every
Your responsibility is to obey, not to talk back, not to rebel, not to
belittle, not to make fun of, and not to degrade. You are to obey. That's
what God said your responsibility is in the home.
Secondly, in Ephesians 6:1-3 the Bible says, “Children are to honor
father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise that it may
be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”
What does it mean to honor father and mother? Do you remember
Proverbs 31 where, of the virtuous woman, her children rise up and call her
blessed? That's the idea. When you honor father and mother, you're going
to obey them. You are going to respect them. You are going to want to
follow their guidelines and you're going to appreciate and be thankful for
what your parents do.
Listen very carefully. Around this world and even the United States of
America, there are a host of children, multitudes of children, who have
parents who really don't care very much for them. We hate to say it that
way, but it's true.
Be thankful if you've got godly parents. Be thankful that your parents
love you enough to try to look out for your spiritual welfare, to try to help
you and guide you and set standards for you to follow that are based off of
the teaching of Scripture. You have such a blessing that you fail many, that
we fail many times to realize in having godly parents who love us enough to
discipline, care, and protect us in so many ways. Honor and your parents.
That's the responsibility of children to their parents.
What else can a godly child in the home do? Godly children need to
be a good example for their family in every way. You know, when we think
about what can a young person do in the home?
Here's one of things that is so powerful. The Bible says in 1 Timothy
4:12 Paul speaking to Timothy, a young person, said, "Be an example to
the believers, in word and in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith and purity.
What can you do in the home? Be a godly example. That's what your
parents need of you. That's what you need to do in the home. Set the
example. I want to study my Bible. I want to pray. I want to honor father and
mother. I want to obey them. I want to live up to the example of Christ in
every way. I want to walk in the footsteps of Jesus in the home, 1 Peter
Now, I want to show you the power of this by mentioning some
young people who were indeed great examples to their family.
David stands out as a young person who was a great example. Do
you remember the story of David and Goliath? 1 Samuel 17:33, David had
heard that Goliath taunt the people of God. He said “I'm going to trust God.
I can defeat this giant.” He went over there and with those few small
stones, the young man David defeated Goliath. He knocked him to the
ground, cut off his head, and became a great leader in Israel.
Look at the example. What about his brothers? They were scared to
death of Goliath and yet David went over there, put his trust in God and
became a powerful example of a young person to his family.
A couple of other examples: both Timothy and Titus are told to be
examples. Look at the example they set: preaching the word of God,
teaching others, becoming young evangelists who no doubt would instruct
and teach the lost as well. No doubt that had a great impact on their family
You know, when I think of another example of a young person, who
no doubt was an influence to their family, I think of Jesus at the young age
of 12. Jesus had gotten separated from his family. Luke 2:49, they find
Jesus in the Temple and it's as though they're going to scold him, "Did you
not know that your mother and I were looking for you. Where have you
been?” Jesus said, "Did you not know I must be about my Father's
What did that mean? Jesus was in the Temple asking questions and
teaching the teachers of the law at the young age of 12. What a powerful
example for Bible study and evangelism that must've set for both Mary and
Joseph concerning their son.
You know, as we think about young people in the home, one of the
things that every young person desperately needs in the home, all people
need,but especially young people, is to put God first-even if family may not.
Now, the actual design that we've been discussing much is where
you've got a father and mother who love the Lord supremely, who are
putting God first, who are setting guidelines for the home, and who desire
that their children do that.
But even if you live in a home where you may be the only Christian as
a young person, what can you do? Put God first. As a young person,
'remember your creator' Ecclesiastes 12:1.
Remember that your desire, responsibility, and privilege is to put God
first. The writer of Ecclesiastes said in 12:13, "Let's hear the conclusion of
the whole matter.” What's life all about? “Fear God, keep his
commandments. This is the whole duty of man." That's why we are
created. Isaiah 43:7 God says, ‘everyone who's created by me, who gives
my name honor and glory, I have formed him, yes, I've made him.’ God
said "I've created him for my glory."
Whether we eat or whether we drink or whatever we do, we're to do
all to the glory of God, 1 Corinthians 10:31.Young people need to have the
mindset of Paul: "For to me, to live is Christ." "Seek first the kingdom of
God", Mat. 6:33.
Think about the good you can do in your classroom, on the ball field,
and among other young people. You need to set the example of leadership
for putting God first as a young person.
Let me give you some examples: on the ball field, remember you're
still a child of God. Set the example of how a Christian would act in dress,
on the ball field, in your language on the ball field, in the love and care and
concern you ought to have for others. Those are the actions we need
among young people at school. Be an example to your fellow students.
Behave like one even when other people may be doing things that are
immoral or immodest. Don't partake in that. Use language that encourages
others to live in a godly way. You'll be surprised if you'll stand up for Christ,
even as a young person, and live as God wants you to live, you'd be
surprised how many people respect and actually want that and would follow
your leadership in that area.
Young people, be an example on a date. When you're dating,
remember God's teachings. We all understand there may be desires and
passions that naturally, God has given for the right place. Let's remember
that place "marriage is honorable, the bed undefiled, but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge" Hebrews 13:4.
As a young person dating, let your standards be known. Let people
know that you don't believe in those relations before marriage and that
you're going to keep a high standard that you expect those whom you date
to set that same standard. And friend, when you do that, the kind of person
you want to help you get to heaven is not far away. You'll be looking for
that person, and they'll be looking for you as well.
Remember to be an example to yourself. Even when you're alone,
you've got to set that example, because God is always watching. Hebrews
4:13 says there's no creature hidden from His sight. All things are open and
naked before the eyes of Him with whom we must give an account.
Proverbs 15:3 says, "The eyes of the Lord are in every place." When you're
at home, maybe by yourself, God sees the kind of music you listen to. God
sees the programs you watch. When you're on the computer, God knows
what you looking at. Don't look at things, don't listen to things, don't watch
things, don't do things even when you're alone that would not be approved
in the sight of our God. And so, as a young person in the home, be a godly
example to everyone.
What else is God's encouragement for people in the home? One of
the things that God encourages in the home is for young people to really be
the kind of example, especially when it comes to hard work that God
desires in the home.
Let me give you an example. I want you to listen to a not very well-
known passage in the book of Lamentations 3. Listen to what the Bible
says to young people about hard work .Verse 27 says, "It is good for a man
to bear the yoke in his youth."
What's the idea there? 'Bearing the yoke' is working hard, bearing the
burden, carrying the load. What is needed of you in the home? To be a
hard worker. Don't be lazy. Don't expect mom and dad to do everything for
you. Don't expect to be waited on hand and foot. Rather, bear the yoke in
your youth. Work hard as a young person. Ultimately, we want you; God
wants you, to work hard first and foremost to getting to heaven that's the
first thing you need to work hard on. Revelation 21 describes that place as
a place where 'there'll be no sorrow, pain, crying, all the former things have
passed away'. A place of rest, Matthew 25:46. Hebrews 4:9, above
everything else, work hard on getting to heaven.
But, you know what? In the home, you need to work hard as a part of
the family. That means that you need to do your share of the chores when
it comes to vacuuming or doing the dishes or keeping your room clean, or
whatever it may be, mowing the yard-whatever it is- work hard. Work hard
at growing in Christ. The Bible says 'grow in the grace and knowledge of
our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ'.
Then as a young person in the home, such an important aspect that
we want to illustrate from Scripture for every young person in the home is:
you need to be teachable.
Listen to Psalm 71:17 every young person needs have the mindset
that is mentioned in Psalm 71:17. The Scripture says, "Oh God, you have
taught me from my youth and to this day I declare your wondrous works."
You know what's great about the psalmist? He was teachable. God
had taught him from his youth. We need young people today, who are
teachable. I understand there is the idea, the mentality, that at this age we
know everything. We can do everything. We don't need to be told anything.
Friend, that is just not true. Young people need to be teachable. Don't have
a know-it-all attitude. I know it all right now, I've got it all figured out, and I
can accomplish everything. That's not the attitude you find in Scripture.
The correct attitude is found in Luke 11:1, where Jesus' disciples
said, "Lord, teach us." That's the mindset young people need, 'Lord teach
us'. We want to learn and know. Hey, let's all realize we don't know
everything. Deuteronomy 29:29 says, "The secret things belong to the
Lord, our God but the things that he has revealed belong to us and our
children." None of us have it all figured out. There are some things we may
never know. But as young person, you're at the point in life where you need
to be one who's ready to learn, to grow, to receive instruction when
someone tries to correct or teach or, maybe even show you a better way to
do something. Don't rise up and act like you've already got all figured out
even if you may have a better way. Still be respectful enough to listen and
you'll be surprised at just how much you can learn in situations like that.
What else do we need from young people in the home? We need
young people who are willing to let the Bible mark them. The Bible says in
Psalm 119 especially to young people beginning in verses 9 through 11
the Scripture will say that ‘young people are to let God's word make an
impression or a mark on their heart.’ The Scripture records of a young
person that they had been taught by God, "Your word, I've hidden in my
heart.” How should a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed
according to your word." And then he says, "Your word I've hidden in my
heart that I might not sin against you."
How can a young man make his way right? By letting the word of
God make the correct mark upon them. You know, as a young person, you
need to study the Scriptures diligently. "Study to show yourself approved
unto God." That's what Paul would say to Timothy, a young evangelist.
Acts 17:11, we're all to “Search the Scriptures daily." Your words were
found and I did eat them," Jeremiah said in Jeremiah 15:16.
You know, as someone who may be young in the faith or a young
Christian especially, you need to study and apply the Scripture very
diligently to your life. Paul would say in Philippians 4:9 "The things which
you've heard and received and saw in me, these do and the God of peace
will be with you."
We also want to impress upon every young person's mind, every
person, but especially young people, that as a young person, you
desperately need to flee those things which are not right, which are ungodly
in the sight of our God.
Listen to 2 Timothy 2:22. Paul would say, "Flee also youthful lust but
pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those who call on the Lord
out of a pure heart.”
You know, as we think about the responsibilityof young people one of
thoseresponsibilities is to flee, to run from, to get away from, certain things.
What are those things? Youthful lust. There's no doubt that sometimes
emotions, attraction, desire, and passion, run very high among young
people. There's no doubt that many of the movies, songs, things you see in
magazines, and things you see from day-to-day, even the way people
dress, cause that problem to be exacerbated sometimes.
What does the young personneed? Flee youthful lust. Talking about
things like sexual immorality. A young person needs to run away from, do
nothing with be separate from immoral things sexually. Remember again
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honorable, (inside the marriage or
marriage relationship) the beds undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers
God will judge."
1 Peter 2: 11gives such sage advice for young people. The Bible
says, "Abstain from fleshly lust which war against the soul.” How can you
flee youthful lust? Abstain from it. Don't put yourself in a situation where
that's going to be an attraction or temptation. Don't be alone with somebody
when that, where that might occur. Don't be in a movie or somewhere
where that might be something you are prone to give in to. Abstain from it
is God's guideline.
And then ofcourse young people need to flee other desires and
passions as well: drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. The Bible says ‘wine is a
mocker strong drink is a brawler and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.’
To young people today, God wants you to know and we want you to
know as well you have, in the home, such a wonderful responsibility and
privilege. You have the power to set the example to encourage your
parents to give them something they can be proud of and just as God
desires to have godly children, parents want children who are also putting
God first. Your role in the home, although it is a role of obedience and
submission and respect your parents, can do so much good for making the
homea place where people are happy, where the relationships are loving
and joyful. You can actually help and encourage your parents to be what
God wants them to be. And no doubt you can do so much to encourage
your friends and your peers to learn more about Christ.
You know one of the things that young people especially have a great
opportunity for is evangelism. Young people have as much or more
opportunity to evangelize at your age than you will at any other. You're
around more people, you contact different people in so many ways, and
look at the good you can do for reaching others for Jesus Christ.
And so, the words of Paul, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first
commandment with promise that it may be well with you and that you may
live long on the earth."
Our hope and prayer is that each child will strive to obey and honor
their parents to truly have a "Godly Home in an Ungodly World."
Study Questions for: “Godly Homes: Lesson 8”
1. According to Ephesians 6:1, what are children to do?
2. Why should children obey their parents according to Ephesians 6:1?
3. According to Proverbs 10:1, what makes a glad father?
4. What sends grief and bitterness to his father according to Proverbs
5. According to Ecclesiastes 12:1, why should young people remember
their creator in the days of their youth?
6. What should we be according to 1 Timothy 4:12?
7. In Luke 2:49, at the age of 12, what did Jesus tell his parents he must be
8. What is the whole duty of man according to Ecclesiastes 12:13?
9. According to Matthew 6:33, what should we seek first?
10. According to Proverbs 15:3, what are in every place?